feixuehua: recadreuse (11)
Xiao Xingchen (晓星尘) ([personal profile] feixuehua) wrote 2020-10-25 04:16 am (UTC)

At first, Xingchen is worried for the worst. He remembered Alice's description of him, that he is the worst possible scum. Her words echoed with his feelings when Xue Yang admitted and confessed his cruel intentions and his crimes moments before his own death and he blames him.

He promised change, but he can't see for himself, being blind. He isn't sure if this is a trick, but for once, he does truly felt the sincerity and honesty in his words, being honest of his own crimes, and he could feel it that he badly wants him to know.

"You're...oh." There's a rush of heat, feeling flustered at his words mingled with confusion, sadness, and it's coming at him so fast. There is pain and regret that he reaches for the wall and leans on it for support. It's overwhelming and too much. He thought about Zichen in that instant, but he must be far away in another universe by now. "I thought you hate guys like me. Being righteous, doing the right thing. That's weakness for you, remember? So I don't know why you..." Have feelings?

"So, that was..." he trials looking at his direction blankly not sure of him how to react or think. On one hand, he's relieved. This is a confession of his feelings. There's something sweet, honest, and kind, and this is new.

Then slowly, keeping his voice even. "Xue Yang, I care about you. I don't want you to do any harm to others. Each day I'm worried that you will, and you'll get caught and punished. I was worried that you'll get hurt, and that when you do, you'll get angry and lashed out at others. If you can...and I think you do, control that temper, then perhaps I can believe you." He doesn't expect him to do the right thing, but at least, he thinks he's trying as he heard from many also of his deep regret over his death.

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